This whole week I have honestly been thinking of
the things I want to do but never really had the chance to do so.
The first one I thought of writing about is how
I, as a lifter in cheerleading, was able to actually experience being lifted. I
wanted to share how at first I never really wanted to fly because of my fear of
falling but after trying it actually made me want to be a flyer. Not only did
that remove my fear, it also motivated me to reach a certain goal. I used to
tell myself that I never want to fly because of my weight and that people might
laugh at me if I actually do get lifted but then that’s the thing, it really
did help me shed some pounds in order to actually lessen my insecurities and
knowing the fact that I have that capability of actually doing it truly made me
believe in myself more that I actually do have the strength to be up there and
not just on the ground.
The second one I thought of writing about is
something I have been dreaming of doing ever since; bungee jumping. During the
weekend, not entirely sure if that was yesterday or Saturday, I stumbled upon a
video of a graduated teammate of mine who went to Macau to try out that worlds
highest bungee jump and watching it really did make me want to walk at the
edge. That feeling of wanting to just drop your entire body slowly from the
edge of that building does feel very “refreshing” like you’re able to shout out
or drop all the negativity and stress in you.
This then connected to the third thing I thought
of doing, which is, Boxing. I’ve always wanted to go boxing because I feel like
it’s the only way I can release that kept anger in me. The fact that I grew up
keeping my feelings to myself like how I never really show that emotional part
of me and my anger towards people, I end up bottling it all in me to the point
that it makes me want to hit something. So I guess to remove those negative
emotions in me, I have honestly been thinking of boxing. Maybe after this week
I’ll try it out with a few friends.
But since this blog is suppose to be about
something I have done recently, I decided to simply make this blog my “edge”.
Now to make you walk with me, sadly I didn’t have the chance to do the physical
things I wanted to do but just recently I was able to talk to a friend and help
her go through her breakup, which happened a few hours ago actually. Anyway to
help you guys understand why I consider this as my ‘walk the edge’ it is because
I honestly never knew I could possibly still make someone see their mistakes. This
is caused by my recent break up with my 3-year boyfriend, which happened just a
few weeks ago.
Before I reached out to my friend, I really
thought I didn’t have the strength to actually talk to someone about break ups
or basically anything that revolves around relationships. I thought I would be
weak enough to the point that I would end up breaking down and base everything
on my life. So anyway yeah, at first when my friend asked if I was busy and if we
could talk I some what already felt that it would revolve around her either
fighting with her boyfriend or she needed help to surprise him or something.
Sadly it was more of bad news than good. She shared every possible detail she
could and I guess it amazes me how I was able to make someone smile and see the
brighter side of life. I was also able to wake myself up from my situation and
also realize my own mistakes that I should be the one running after someone.
That I should just simply wait and be patient enough. Basically enjoy the life
that is right in front of me now.
To end this, I really do believe that I have
raised myself up from the ground and that I am back on my feet. Thanks to my
friend I think I wouldn’t be able to be strong enough to talk to anyone about
break ups and their relationships. But again I do try to remind myself, which I
also did tell my friend, that we should worry about the future and that we
shouldn’t have that fear of not finding the same guy as our exes because like
what that quote says “The reason why they’re called exes is because they’re an
example of those who we shouldn’t go back to.” or simply find someone who has
the same character. We just have to remember that there is someone out there who
won’t make us kneel on the ground in order for us to get his attention; that
there really is such a thing as “Mr. Right” (how cliché). An example similar to
this is what my friend said “It’s just sad and unfair how he could just end
things with me like that and how I can seriously walk on fire for him.” When I
read this I was actually agreeing with her at first and did tell him that I do
feel the same way, then while I was talking to her about it I started to
realize how stupid we looked in trying to convince each other how unfair it is
for us; which is something we shouldn’t even worry and think about.
Because why risk your life to walk through fire
or crawl through a rocky road for someone who can easily just let go of you
life that if instead you can just simply sit back and relax to wait for the one
guy who will wrap you in his arms and won’t even make you think of doing such
crazy things to show him how much you love him because for him, he would do
anything and everything to make you feel that care and love you deserve.
Thanks to this walk, it truly did remind me that
I shouldn’t limit myself and rush into having another relationship because like
what that short film said about being in a relationship “It’s either you break
up or get married”. I just have to be patient enough for that one person who
will do anything and everything for me without me even asking for it. That one
person who wouldn’t even dare make me walk through fire because he would rather
keep me in his arms to avoid any harm done to me.
Patience
is truly a virtue.
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